At the Salmon Street Fountain, Portland Oregon.  I believe they were coming from/to the Waterfront Blues Festival being held next door.  More shots from today in my Flickr account.

So, in that spirit, I've created a 'Drama System Entry' band to be applied to those we enter into the system.  This allows others in the health care field to readily identify, call for resources, and track these folks.

My only dilemma is this:

       Should the band be "Oscar" gold?

     Or "Bullshit" brown?

BTW, Katy, you're WAY overdue for a post...

The past week or so has been notable for very unusual (to me) people and calls.

A very large person of the female persuasion, wearing a very short skirt, who bent over to pick up her belongings, aiming her nether regions at the engine crew and police officer.  They blanched and grimaced, prompting from me the title of this post...

The younger patient, smoking the ganja, who was hearing the word "Anticipation" over and over.  He had never heard of Carly Simon from the blank look on his face when I asked him...

The code we ran - starting with this, and ending with this just 9 minutes later.  Unfortunately, the patient will never leave the hospital alive, due to the reason for the arrest in the first place...

Driving the county from one end to the other thanks to the System Status Management Plan, which also prompted this haiku...

Tour the county
From one posting to the next
And then back again

Overdoses, falls, chest pain, trauma, belly pain, the usual daily workload of EMS. 

And locally, this sign:

Does anyone else find this a little suggestive, or is it just me?  I almost blushed the first time I saw it.  Perhaps it's my very warped sense of humor...

Oh, and I forgot the PIT maneuver.  The officer adroitly maneuvered his/her patrol car, cutting off the suspect in the middle of the street.  The suspect was taken into custody rapidly, saving the neighborhood from further terror.  The suspect was a PIT bull...

Puree a pint or so of raspberries (we got ours fresh from the Farmers Market) with some sugar.  Chill until needed.

Slice a poundcake into 8 pieces (or, Pieces of Eight for my piratical friends), about 1/2" wide.

Fire up the grill, or use the coals left over from your main course.

Swab each side of the poundcake with melted butter, then toast on the grill.  After the first side is toasted, flip it over and place a hunk of chocolate bar (or a Kiss or two, or several chocolate chips) on the already toasted side.

After the chocolate is melted, remove the slices.

On your serving plate(s), discharge your bilges pour the raspberry puree on the plate, then place a slice of the pound cake atop/amid the puree.

Top with a dollop of whipped cream and several raspberries.

Mine looked like this...

And as good as it looked, it tasted even better!

Enjoy.

There - every possible influence to transport as many people as possible.

Here - insurance, no insurance, don't care - just need your signature.

There - trying to get a copy of the actual insurance card, if not the adjuster himself/herself.

(No wonder why there's only a 20% collection rate, instead of the 60-80% average on the coast)

Here - standardized ambulance inventory form, but no real checks.  Crews set up their ambulances as they see fit.  Some are chock-full of supplies.  Some have multiples of certain supplies (IV stuff, ECG patches, etc) stored by the bench seat for very easy access.

There - strict adherence to the inventory list.  Over?  Certain supervisors would come unglued, and boxes of overstock were frequently received back at the supply cache.

Here - holes in the schedule?  Send out a page or two, asking for help from the off-duty crews.  Perhaps offer up a coffee card, movie tickets, or even a whole meal to sweeten the deal.

There - holes in the schedule?  Force someone to work, their personal schedule be damned.  If nobody responded to the page sent out, send e-mails threatening their jobs, calling them names.

After missing 2 days of this last rotation for my court date (4 hours of travel time for 10 minutes of testimony), I made it back for the last 2 days of work.

My FTO now has 2 trainees at the same time.  The other new guy is a brand new Paramedic, and so he's getting most of the FTOs attention.  The two new guys are up front - one driving, the other navigating, switching roles on each call transport.  Seems if you are the tech & it's a no-transport, you stay in the tech seat until you actually have a transport.  The FTO's in the back, observing and helping as needed.

I'm actually getting the navigation down, and am providing directions/driving w/o using the map book on more and more occasions.  It's those pesky red lights that are my biggest problem right now.

I've had my first repeat patient (not bad for only 2 weeks here), and have found myself actually answering questions/providing direction to the other new guy. 

The trauma is definitely more prevelent here than on the coast.  Just about every night there's been a shooting and/or a stabbing (not that I've gotten all the calls), but also pistol-whippings, other assorted trauma, and  more car and bicycle crashes.

I've got 6 more shifts in this county, then it's off to the other county for a month of training and learning their area, before I'm released and headed back to this county for my own unit.  One of the Paramedics I rode with during my ride-alongs has asked me to be his partner.  I'm touched and looking forward to making that happen.  I get the impression he's kind of a hippy, but from what I've seen so far, I think we'll get along great.

Today it was 100 degrees here at the house.  I hate it when it's that warm.  We ended up at the movie theater for some relief (the last movie I saw in the theater was King Kong), went to the pool, plus it's cooled off quite a bit now that the sun has gone down.  It's not supposed to be this warm tomorrow or anytime soon - good thing, too. 

It's quiet here with the boys inside & Hilda at work.  I'm sitting out on the patio with the Tiki torches burning to keep the bugs at bay.  Diana Krall is playing on the pooter as I surf and post this. 

It's time to clean up the kitchen and get some sleep...

Hildas son just jumped from his bunk bed onto the floor, and apparently injuring himself, as he muttered "Oh, my beautiful kaniggets"...

And he just came inside to put on his swimming suit, announcing that he was "gonna jump in the sprinkler like an original boy"...

And then my older son threw a stick at my younger son, hitting him in the eye.  There's an apparent divot in the globe, and his vision is blurry.  Some antiobiotic goop, an eye patch, and we'll re-assess in the morning.

Is it 5 o'clock yet?

This zucchini bloom is a good foot wide...

On the way, we stopped at Mt. St. Helens...

So, we're all getting settled in here.  The boys are reconnecting well and enjoying the new digs.  Swimming, roasting marshmallows over the fire pit on the patio, and playing in the backyard as well as the several close parks are the order of the day.

We're headed back to Newport as I've got a subpeona to testify in a trial this week.  We're hoping to make it a one-day affair, but the DA's office will put me up overnight if required.  Of course, it's right in the middle of a work week for me, which means training time lost.

The garden is growing - the squash is now almost 2 feet tall, and almost everything is starting to bloom.  We've actually got the first pea pod formed and growing. 

Gonna be a great summer...

I grew up on George's schtick during the 70's, and enjoyed listening, watching, and reading his particular take on people since then.

My favorite quote:  Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I hope they have a great sense of humor where ever you're headed, George.

Day-Glo yellow bananas cruising down the street...

A whole grief-stricken family trying to cope with a supposed asthma attack...

A young man on a bicycle swearing at the stupid ambulance drivers because they can't see the person laying on the sidewalk...

Dragon boats on the river, B-17's cruising the skies...

A big yellow full moon rising over the extinct volcano...

Strippers enjoying their 'time off', on the front porch, waving to us as we pass by...

And Jesus on a cell phone...

"Well, at least he stops every once in a while and tells a joke."

Uhm, dear, that would be Henny Youngman...

As expected, my weak spot is navigation. 

While I've previously been able to make my way around the big city, I'm now expected to master the intricacies of addressing and commuting easily/rapidly.  I'm in the process of memorizing the major streets/arterials, which will not only help in driving to post, calls, and/or hospitals, but will also help in quickly finding the address I'm looking for.

We have several tools to help.  There's a laminated sheet of paper in the cab that lists all the streets, with the main ones in bold.  That's what I've been trying to memorize.  There's a fairly good commercial map book (that is printed in small print, necessitating my recent purchase), that is actually cross-referenced in CAD, with the map page/grid included in the incident details on the MDT.  There's also an electronic mapping system on the MDT.  That shows where the ambulance is, and shows where the call is.  It does not show how to actually get there (a la Tom Tom, et al), and it's usually a few blocks behind in updating the ambulance location.  Plus, my FTO won't let me use it.

The whole process is, well. progressing, and it's already easier to navigate.  In fact, I've got a test during my next 4-day rotation.

My medicine is still strong, interaction with the patients is not a problem.

Learning the ins and outs of radio ops, MDT use, and some of the other operational procedures is another problem, albiet a slight one.  Learning a new computerized charting system is also a challenge.  That, too, will come with time.

The patients, surroundings and circumstances, while essentially similar to the coast, are of much higher quantity and way more diverse.  My first shift we had 9 calls, of which 5 were mine.  That's a normal 24-shift on the coast. 

I'm also learning new protocols.  There's really not a big change, as the protocols on the coast were based on these protocols.  The one surprise has been the Dopamine protocol.  It seems that dosing is dependant on how fast the ambulance is driving!  For example:  1-2mcg/km/min.  Slight typo, there. 

All in all, I'm still very happy with the change, and excited for my future there.

I'm now the owner of reading glasses. 

I decided I needed them when trying to peer at, and decipher, the map books at work.  Some of the writing on the maps is pretty small, and I found myself getting a headache, squinting at the small print.

So it was off to the store yesterday, trying on a few pair, until I found the right combination - I can see and Hilda likes the frames.

We'll see how long it takes for me to either lose or break them.

I've just left a house full of love.

I'm headed to urban ugliness.  Houses that haven't seen love in a long time.  Grit, smog, idling diesel engines.  American citizens down on their luck or outright rejects from humanity, either by circumstance, their own decisions and actions, or for whatever reason.

People crying out for help. 

Illness

Injury

Stupidity

Neglect

Abuse

I'm headed into the big city to lend a hand - earn a paycheck - perhaps even make a difference.

In 12 hours, I'll be headed home.   Back to the green suburbs.  Will there be hot air balloons dotting the horizon as there were this morning?

My bed will be waiting so I can recharge my body and mind for another grind tomorrow night.

I can't wait...

So, probably not the person I'd call to fix my helicopter, especially if it was a 'forein' model, or had 'elecrical' problems.

Hell, just typing those words made my fingers hurt!

I wonder just how much difference there is between fixing a helicopter and a lawn mower?  I mean, they both have sharp things that rotate really fast, right?

It got to the point that they even invented their own sign language 'sign' to indicate the need for a pelvic.

Then it turned weird.

The Pelvic Song

(Sung to the tune "In The Jailhouse Now")

She’s in the stirrups now
She’s in the stirrups now
I told her once or twice
To quit playing round and doin boys
She’s in the stirrups now

Well, I had a friend named Smilin Joe
Who used to swab all the town ho’s
He thought he was the smartest doc in town
But I found out last Monday
That Joe did pelvics all Sunday
She’s in the stirrups now

She’s in the stirrups now
She’s in the stirrups now
I told her once or twice
To quit playing round and doin boys
She’s in the stirrups now

Well I went to work on Tuesday
Met a patient named Susie
I told her I was the swellest nurse around
Well I put the speculums in the heater
We diagnosed her with gonorrear
We used up all the tetracycline in town

We're in the stirrups now
We're in the stirrups now
They told us once or twice
To quit playin' round and doin boys
We're in the stirrups now

Yeah, I'm stoked.

I'll actually get to ride up front (and drive) and actually SEE where we're going, how to get there (not to mention how to get back), and learn to work the computers.

In other changes, I've got some more facial hair.  My new company actually allows more than a mustache, and so I've allowed more growth.

My protective N-95 mask fits, and so there's no issues there.

There are some other issues, however...

Gray issues.  Silver, perhaps.

It seems that fully 1/3 (some say more) of the hairs are a nice, silvery color.  I've already got some on my head (few enough to have individual names - suprisingly most are named after women - Warning:TMI alert - and at least one from a different facial area - summarily plucked out by an irritated woman, yes, one responsible for at least one of the aforementioned gray hairs) but the facial ratio is much higher.  Not that it's a real issue - in fact, I personally think it's rather distinguishing.

Yeah, that's the ticket!

The ED doc who told me that losing my 'stache deprived me of my air of credibility would surely approve (and don't call me Shirley)...

You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

The blinds in our new bedroom are sufficiently dark, and with my constant tinnitus, no white noise generator is needed - it's built-in!  All that was needed were the ear plugs.

And they worked.  Every day I got enough good sleep to keep me awake for most of the night, the rest being aided by caffiene.

And they even theoretically work for teeth grinding and snoring right next to me.  Not that it happens, mind you, I'm just sayin'....

He turns his head towards the wall and mumbles... "I didn't expect the spanish inquisition"

And yes, I really did expect to see 3 guys in red jumping out from somewhere...

And now I'm headed out the door for another night.

It's so old, it's made entirely of wood...

In the back of a pickup, Northbound I-5 in Portland.